The best-laid plans...and lots of baked treats

I started blogging with the intent of posting something every day for the last two weeks of October. That lasted exactly 3 days. Here I am again, almost a week after my last post, and I can't figure out where the last week has gone.

Well, I take that back. Monday night I worked at the bookstore; Tuesday night I got together with C; Wednesday I had a chiropractor appointment and then baked and did laundry; Thursday I had a chiropractor appointment and spent time with L, for a much-needed and long-overdue tune-up; and last night was yet another chiropractor appointment (thank you, guy who rear-ended me in July) and then hung out with C again. It was a busy week, but generally a good one. All week long I've been looking forward to today - partially because I would have some time to relax and to do all the stuff that I didn't get done during the week (like the rest of my laundry, shopping for the rest of my Halloween costume), but mostly because I was planning to go to a party this afternoon, and to another one this evening. Tomorrow I need to go to the office for a while, and I'll probably hang out with my big sis in the evening. Today was the more "off'" days of the weekend. The coming week will be similar to the past week, with time at the bookstore, lots of chiropractor appointments, time with different friends, a play, my birthday, and finally another party next weekend. Oh yeah, and my job.

Anyway, I made it through my crazy busy week to Saturday. I slept in, had some cat-snuggling time, ran a few quick errands, made my dish to share at the first party (cranberry-apple crisp) and got ready to leave the house...when I realized I had no idea where the party was. The host's address wasn't in the e-mail invitation...which I didn't notice until I tried to walk out the door. I sent the host an e-mail and a text message to a mutual friend to try to get the address. But an hour and a half later, the host of the party is (I assume) doing party-host things rather than checking her messages, and our mutual friend (who lives in another city and wouldn't be at the party, or even necessarily checking his phone) hasn't gotten back to me yet. Really, I think it's pretty funny.

Instead of using the time between now and my next party (a birthday dinner for a friend) to do anything that I really should get done (oh, laundry, how you vex me), I started baking again - cranberry chocolate chip cookies this time.

I just read over what I've written so far and noticed three things: One, I have a lot of good intentions. Two, I overschedule myself in a big way, and I think perhaps I should plan an "Amy-night" (or two) every week. Three, I really don't manage my time as well as I should.

I'm not sure if the poor time management is a function of the over-scheduling, or the over-scheduling is a function of poor time management. The good intentions result from wanting to do everything. Life's too short to spend it sitting around, and since I'm blessed with so many amazing people in my life, of course I want to spend my precious "free" time with them.

In any case, as much as I would have loved to see the people at the first party, maybe not going is what I needed today. Baking is my therapy - I do it when I'm crabby, tired, or emotionally worked over, or just when I feel like baking. It's calming, and it lets me focus on something that is orderly - which the rest of my life sometimes is not. Plus, I have something to show for the time I've spent. Most of the time I feel like I do a lot of running around. It's great and I'm generally pretty happy, but I have to wonder where my time goes. Today I know: I have cookies and apple-cranberry crisp to share with some lucky person(s).

I'm going to be realistic and acknowledge that I probably won't make the time to post every day between now and the end of October. I do enjoy it, but there have been days in the past week when it would have been one more thing to check off the list.  Next week will be similar, if not worse. But it's my own doing, and I'm grateful for everything (except for perhaps being rear-ended...but whatever).

Day three - short and sweet

I'm so excited that I've only been blogging for three days and I have seven followers already! Even if you don't read everything I post, you're a HUGE boost to my ego. Thank you!

It's been a long day today - left the house at 7:30 this morning and got home a little before 10 this evening. I was at both jobs today and my body is tired.

When I was in my 20s, I worked 40 hours a week at one job, 20 - 25 at another, and for quite a while, my commute was 38 miles one way.  Now that I'm in my thirties, I work 40-ish hours at one job, and FOUR hours a week at my second one. My commute is about 40 minutes, and for all but about five of those 40 minutes I'm sitting down, usually reading a book. But for some reason my long days just take it out of me.

I wonder what happened. I hate to think that this is just the natural progression of aging - that the older I get, the less I'll be able to tolerate long days. I hope that I'm just out of practice. I have a birthday coming next week and I'm not excited about it at all - maybe because I'm starting to feel like I'm old.

I think what I should do is get myself back into practice. I should start going out more during the week, and exercising more regularly, and stuff like that. Instead of turning a year older next week, I'm going to suspend things.

But in the meantime, I'm ready for bed...

If you wanna kiss the sky...

I love quotes. For years, my favorite quote was "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that in me there lay invincible summer," from Albert Camus. That resonates with me on so many levels. I live in Minnesota, so I spend a hell of a lot of time in the depth of winter. But summer always returns - and what invincible summers we have! More philosophically, as someone who's prone to...well...melancholy, it's good to know that the internal summer is there, somewhere, waiting and willing to come out. I've been trying to nurture the internal summer lately, with varying degrees of success. But it is invincible. My internal summer will always vanquish the winter in the long run.

"Stories and cigarettes ruin lives of lesser girls" - Pete Yorn, in the song "Strange Condition." I have no idea why I like this line so much. Maybe because Pete Yorn is hot and I totally want to have his children. Maybe because the song it comes from is so sexy. I have no idea. No philosophy on this one; I just like it.

"All we really need to be happy is something to be enthusiastic about" - Charles Kingsley. This is one I can really get behind. Look at the happy people you know (OK, maybe just the people who are in a good mood), and they have at least one thing in common: they're excited about something. I think I need to find a subject for enthusiasm before the work week starts again. (Wish me luck.)

"If you wanna kiss the sky, better learn how to kneel" - U2, from "She Moves in Mysterious Ways." This is another one that sticks with me on lots of levels. It reminds me to start with baby steps; that life is really, really big; that it's important to have gratitude. Plus, the song just makes me want to get up and dance.

"You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think" - Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh.  This affirmation makes me smile on the inside. It's the kind of thing I'd like to paste on my bathroom mirror so I could look at it every single day, except I know someone would come over and think I was some kind of weirdo for having that on my bathroom mirror. Really. So in my head it stays.

Words are fascinating to me. The words one chooses (or doesn't choose) to make a statement can be almost as meaningful as the statement itself.  I don't know if anything I say (or write) will ever be quoted as philosophy for the ages, but think about it for a minute: how cool is it that we have all these words in the English language? And that the words can be combined in an infinite number of ways to say an infinite number of things about an infinte number of thoughts?

Think about your favorite quote, or song lyric, or poem, or whatever. Would it say the same thing if even one of the words were different? I think one of the reasons I like these quotes so much is because I can't imagine them with other words. They seem so perfect the way they are.

I think I'm going to enjoy this blogging thing...

Today's the day.

I've been thinking about starting a blog for several months. I have thoughts, I have stuff to say, and here's a perfect little forum. People can either read my thoughts or not, and I get to stay the stuff I have to say. Nice.

This morning, I learned that there's something going on called NaWriBloMo - at least I think that's what it is. A couple of my friends who blog are taking the opportunity to blog every day for the entire month of October. I wish I'd known about it in advance. Well, today I start.

Welcome to IWriBlo2Wee. For the remainder of the month, I will write *something* on this blog every day. That is my intention, anyway.

Here are my thoughts at the moment:

There are some days when I really wish I had a family. There are other days, like today, when I'm grateful that I can curl up under a blanket in my sunny pink bedroom and read a book and snuggle with my cat. My Saturday is mine: I don't have to do anything unless I decide I want to. Selfish? Maybe. Do I care? Um, no.

The last ... oh ... six months or so have gotten to me. Work ... well, blogging about work is generally frowned upon. I understand why, so I won't say much here beyond this: work is nuts.  I'm not getting enough sleep, largely because I wake up in the middle of the night feeling tense about my job and the atmosphere in my office. For the past week, every single time I've stretched, or even shrugged my shoulders, I've felt - and heard - muscles and tendons and God-knows-what-else popping and cracking in my body. I have headaches. My hair is falling out, and I'm breaking out in eczema in various places on my body because of stress (read: frustration). So I'm tense.

There's been stupid nonsense in my personal life, too. Really - who gets rear-ended, and then six weeks later gets t-boned? Then, 3 days after getting the car back, gets a flat tire? The answer: me. They're minor inconveniences, yes, but it feels like someone, somewhere, is trying to tell me something. Here is my message to whoever: You have my attention. Please, please, please be clear about what it is I'm doing wrong, and I will change it.

Anyway, instead of being all negative about it, I'm going to focus on the positive. I have a job with great benefits. There are changes coming in how my organization does business, but in general, I will be pretty safe.  In the past month I've been blessed with a new - and interesting and hilarious - cube-mate. The car nonsense has prompted me to walk more, which I've needed, both physically and mentally. I have a cat who is independent but still loves to snuggle, which is just what I need.

Today's positive? That as soon as I post this, I can go back to my room, read a book in my sunny bedroom, and take a nap. Ahhh...peace.